They Said: A Multi-Genre Anthology of Contemporary Collaborative Writing

My Creative Work, Publications

I wrote a poem with my mother, Susan Gregory, y’all!

The collaboration happened after my mom sent in a piece for the Creepo Project, and we realized our stories of harassment and abuse were very similar. And great news, the anthology our piece got published in is out for the world to consume! 🙂 I’ll include the piece below, but if you’d like to buy the anthology, which has an artist statement from each collaborative pair or group next to their piece, click on the picture below!

Muench-and-Rader-They-Said_cw-250x341

Mother-Daughter Bonding: An Exploration of Stupid

Mother

Age 6 – Early 1960s

I am playing on the school playground. Three teenage boys pass by and ask me if I want to see their wieners. I am scared and say no. “Well, here it is,” shouts one of the boys. He pulls a hot dog out of his pocket and waves it in the air. I run home.

Age 16 – Early 1970s

I am walking to work when a fat, forty-something-year-old man asks if I want a ride. I am stupid and say yes. During the ride, we are silent until the end. I turn to thank him, and he slides his hand up my dress. I scream and run into my building. After work, my mother tells me, “It serves you right for getting in the car.”

Age 19 – Mid 1970s

I am walking home from work, and I cut through the park to catch my bus. A good-looking twenty-something-year-old man is sitting on a park bench. He smiles at me and says hello. I smile and say hello back, but then I stupidly look down. His hand is in his pants. He’s jacking off.

Age 22 – Late 1970s

I am working at a car dealership, and I am still stupid. At the end of my shift, my manager, Dick, calls me into his office. He looks me up and down and tells me a filthy joke. For the next few weeks, I start wearing clothing two sizes too big. He still calls me over. I try making an excuse, “I’ll be late for my bus,” but this makes Dick mad. “When Dick calls you, you come!” He grabs me by the coat collar and drags me to his office. I ask him what he wants, and he tells me a filthy joke. I leave crying and never go back.

Age 30 – Mid 1980s

I am working in an office where my husband also works. Every morning, two married co-workers talk to me at my desk. They tell me about the porn they watched the night before and ask if I’d like to watch the next one with them. I say “no, thank you” every time, but they ask again and again. I complain to personnel, and the couple stops speaking to me. I am finally getting smarter.

Age 38 – Early 1990s

I am in a grocery store parking lot holding my 18-month-old daughter while putting groceries into my car. I look up and see two twenty-something-year-old men standing next to me. One of them grabs his crotch, looks at my daughter, and shakes his junk around. “She’s gonna be one hot mama when she gets older.” I am sick. I want to puke.

Daughter

Age 10 – Late 1990s

I am walking with my mother to Wienerschnitzel to buy a hot dog. We pass a parked semi-truck. The driver honks his horn and whistles. I ask my mom who the man is whistling at. “Not at me, I can tell you that much.”

Age 15 – Mid 2000s

I am instant messaging with my boyfriend’s twenty-something-year-old friend. He asks me to have sex with him, and I tell him no. He takes a screenshot of the conversation and uses Paint to switch our screen names, as if I am the one asking him for sex. He sends the image to my boyfriend and calls me a slut. My boyfriend believes him. I am stupid and convince my boyfriend not to dump me. We stay together for another two years.

Age 17 – Late 2000s

I am at my first college party, and I meet a boy. He says he likes me. For the next two weeks, we talk in his dorm room and watch movies on his bed. He never touches me until one night when we can hear his roommate at the door. The boy jumps on top of me and sticks his tongue in my mouth just as his roommate walks inside. I leave crying and never go back.

Age 20 – Early 2010s

I am studying abroad in England, and I meet a seventeen-year-old Swedish boy. We go to a dance club and get drunk with some friends. I black out, and when I come to, my friends tell me the Swedish boy had my arms pinned to a wall and his hand up my dress. They wanted to tell him to stop, but they decided I probably didn’t care. I am stupid and believe them.

Age 21 – Early 2010s

I am staying the night in a hostel, and I am the stupidest I have ever been. I walk in my shared room and a thirty-something-year-old Colombian man sits cross-legged on the floor. He is naked minus a towel wrapped around his waist. He asks if I am alone, and I say yes. He slides his towel to the left, revealing his flaccid penis. I try to leave the room, but he stands up and blocks the door. I try stepping around his body, but he moves closer to me. “You have beautiful eyes,” he says, and I push him. He slips, and I run out the door. I find a new room and stay inside it all night, not even leaving to pee.

Age 23 – Present day

I am working in an office where my brother also works. Every afternoon, a forty-something-year-old coworker talks to me in my cubicle about his motorcycle and drinking habits. I ignore him, but he comes back again and again. One day, he asks me to watch a video of a Barbie and Ken doll having sex. I say, “No, thank you,” and he laughs. “It would probably remind you of your brother anyway.” He stays in my cubicle and plays the video at maximum volume. I can hear the moaning, and I want to puke.

Harboring Darrell – Three-Part Installation

My Creative Work, My Work, Uncategorized, Video Poem

It’s been awhile, friends.

I’ve been doing a lot of research and writing on death practices, the occult, and the act of possession (not like I wasn’t before, but even more so now). It’s made me realize that the art I’ve created in response to my grandfather’s death, initially coming from a place of fear and emptiness, has inspired a more loving relationship with death and the afterlife. To share the love of good death relationships, I wanted to post some pieces from Harboring Darrell, the three-part installation I made toward the end of grad school, in Danielle Vogel’s class, because it was the first time I created art that explicitly spoke of my grandfather’s death: allowing me to start the healing process.

The installation includes a funeral, an altar, and a collaborative offering in remembrance of my grandfather, Darrell. It is a companion piece to my project Helene, acting as a direct attempt to move beyond the self experiencing grief and focus purely on the process of grieving. Participants of Harboring Darrell are asked to mourn with me as they view a previously filmed funeral given for Darrell’s boots, interact with an altar created in replication of Darrell’s living room, and leave behind their own memories of loss as they fill out the “Harboring Darrell Questionnaire” and place it in the Box of Offerings.

The funeral:

Pictures of the altar and Box of Offerings.

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Thanks for reading. If you’re also interested in the topics of death, the occult, and possession, here are three books that I recommend:

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty

Occult America: Secret History of How Mysticism Shaped Our Nation by Mitch Horowitz

The Mind Possessed: A Physiology of Possession, Mysticism, and Faith Healing by William Sargant

 

Exercise 3 & 4 (from “Helene”) in A Bad Penny Review

My Creative Work, Publications

Bad Penny ReviewHello, friends!

Two of my self-guided exercises from my thesis Helene (“Exercise 3: Possessor-Possessee Relationship Flowchart” and “Exercise 4: Being Selective with the Proprietors of Your Will”) have been published in issue 7.1 of A Bad Penny Review. You can find them here and here.

To give a little background to these pieces, in Helene, I created a fictional religion titled “Possessive Spiritualism,” in which humans can interact with spirits using their bodies as hosts. The titular character’s grandfather has died and she explores possession as a viable option for communicating with her grandfather’s spirit by reading literature created by Possessive Spiritualists. These exercises are pieces from this fictional literature.

Bowietry

collage, Collage, found text, My Creative Work, Uncategorized

It's kind of how I feelTo skim milk foreigner

Try some Bowietry on for size: To skim milk foreigner, determinedly selling his wares and It’s kind of how I feel: a foreign body. I made these collage poems awhile back from images and text related to all things Bowie. The images are layered screen shots I took of Nicolas Roeg’s film The Man Who Fell to Earth. The text is from a few sources: Sean Boyle’s video essay The Sonic Landscapes of The Man Who Fell to Earth, Graham Fuller’s essay The Man Who Fell to Earth: Loving the Alien, and this awesome conspiracy theory essay by Peter-R. Koenig The Laughing Gnostic — David Bowie and the Occult. 

I hope you like ’em.

Note: I initially meant ‘whale’ and not ‘wale’ in To skim, but discovered that ‘wale’ means a plank running along the side of a wooden ship. It’s not the plank one jumps off of when caught and killed by pirates. It also can’t really make songs and rarely interacts with whales. Definitely not whale songs. But let’s pretend all these things. Also, laziness is a thing.

 

a dream of the street (Street Corner is always there for me)

My Creative Work, Video Poem

Check out this sweet video poem Laura Burgher and I made! We made it special for the TK Art of the City Street Fest (8/1/15). It was in a neat exhibit called Poems for the Street Corner, curated by Ted Hiebert and Kat Seidemann. The video poem is addressed to a combination of things: Detroit, dreams, the corner of 3rd Ave. & Prefontaine PL, Street Corner the franchise, and prostitution. Click on the poems for the street corner link to see the other cool videos that were in the exhibit.

Clamor Literary and Arts Journal – Publication

My Creative Work, Publications

one time i drank two beersI thought I’d share with y’all my most recent publications in Clamor Literary and Arts Journal. Clamor is University of Washington Bothell’s on-campus literary and arts journal. The 2015 issue came out last month, and some other members of my cohort have some work in there as well. My work includes one time i drank two beers, aconcrete poem that I wrote on a sad day in January, immensely hungover. The other, Famine, is a black out poem that I wrote last September that is a part of the William Carlos Williams erasure project. I wonder if I’ll work on that again one day! Clamor also published a third poem of mine, just your standard narrative poem, on their online edition. It is called A Poem for My Mother. I wrote this in my last semester of undergrad while I was working on a chapbook of poems about my family. Here is the link

Clamor Publications-1

For Mercy

cento poem, collage, My Creative Work

UPDATE (6/15/15): This piece is forthcoming in the online edition of the 2015 Best American Experimental Writing Anthology. I will post links when it comes out! 🙂

I suppose I am on a role with making things for pleasure this weekend! 🙂

Today, I was wandering around down town instead of heading home from a friend’s house and decided to check out the Seattle Public Library. If you haven’t been, it’s pretty amazing, so you should definitely go the next time you’re in town. I found my way to the art section and picked up a book called Prints & Drawings – A Pictorial History by Gottefried Lindemann. As the title reveals, it goes through the history of graphic art from the late Middle Ages to America in the Twentieth Century. I had such a positive response to the prints in the book that I ended up becoming a member of the library to check it out (and steal the prints for my own work! 🙂 ). While flipping through the book at home, I came across the print I used for my piece above, For Mercy. It is a German print from the DĂĽrer Period which I believe is named after Albrecht DĂĽrer (1471-1528) from the Renaissance Period. As you can see from the piece, the print is by Niklaus Manuel Deutsch (1484-1530) and is called Profile Portrait of a (Bernese) Woman. 

Now, a little backstory for the found text:

Prior to grad school, I had been working with the text The Collected Poems of William Carlos Williams – Volume II 1939-1962 and making blackout poems with various pages of the book. (Blackout poems are when you take an existing text, whether it be a newspaper or page in a book or page in a magazine etc., choose words from the text in the order they appear on the page, and then blackout everything else. Here is a link to Austin Kleon’s archive of blackout poems for examples.  http://austinkleon.com/category/newspaper-blackout-poems/ ) I can post some of the ones I have made later. When I came upon the Deutsch portrait, I decided to flip through WCW’s book and make a blackout poem inspired by the picture. After making one version, I realized it would be WAY cooler to make a collage instead, and used an exacto-knife to cut out the words and letters from the page. For reference, I used page 75 which included the end of the poem The Rose, and the full poems Rumba! Rumba! and A Plea For Mercy. 

I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think of it in the comment section. 🙂

Colorado Springs

collage, My Creative Work

IMG_7808.JPG

Made this little doodad today. I took the picture last Summer when my brother and I went backpacking in Castle Rock (Northern California). A friend met up with us at our camp and we make a Coors Light Beer-amid. (A pyramid made out of beers for all of you who don’t have fun with your alcoholic beverages). I bought the tiny frame at a Goodwill a few months back. Today, I fit the picture to the frame and pasted the words on there with computer paper and an Elmer’s glue stick. The hidden meaning behind the collage? Coors Light tastes like piss. 🙂

Blind Eyes Could Blaze Like Meteors

collage, My Creative Work

Blind Eyes Could Blaze Like Meteors pg 1Blind Eyes Could Blaze Like Meteors pg 2

Blind Eyes Could Blaze Like Meteors is a collage and cento poem. See below for the works I used for the cento. The poem carries the length of both images, starting with ‘Blind Eyes Could Blaze Like Marries and ending with ‘How soon succeeding eyes begin.’

FYI: A cento poem is a poem that takes lines from other pieces of work to make a new work of its own. To see an example, other than my own, look up Wolf Cento by Simone Muench

The two images I used are ‘Pastoral’ by Leonora Carrington and ‘Jupiter und Io’ by Antonio Allegri. This content of the poem takes place in a mead or field at dusk, so I used ‘Pastoral’ to reflect the setting and time of day. Also, the colors of the image are very dark and diluted so this helps dramatize the disparity of the poem.  ‘Jupiter und Io’ depicts Jupiter (a Greek God) as a dark cloud caressing the nymph, Io. I researched this painting online and discovered that Io is one of Jupiter’s many loves who has been seduced by him. Since the speaker of my poem has come across a woman who is desperate for his love, I felt that the voices of the characters in my poem reflect the intent of the characters in the painting.

Lines of poem taken from the following poems:

Do Not Go Gentle into that Goodnight by Dylan Thomas

La Belle Dame Sans Merci by John Keats

Anecdote of the Jar by Wallace Stevens

To See A World… by William Blake

The Song of Wandering Aengus by W.B. Yeats

Not Waving but Drowning by Stevie Smith

Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Colleridge

An Anundrel Tomb by Philip Larkin

Daddy by Sylvia Plath

Stop all the Clocks, Cut off the Telephone by W.H. Auden

Adlestrop by Edward Thomas

Because I could not stop for Death by Emily Dickinson